Otis The king, parts 1599- 1602

1599. The border guards let us pass without objection and with no further questions but in exactly the same way they might have let a gaggle of geese cross the road on the way to a stream. The geese might be crossing the road to get to have a drink of water at the stream, and tonight they could all be roasting on a spit, I am sure that is how they saw out pointless endeavor.

1560. When the General was informed about our visit we were ushered directly into his tent. He listened sympathetically to all that my father had to say. He seemed interested in the fate of my Mother, and appeared to be curious about the question of if he might possibly be my father.

1601. A shade of sympathy crossed his face at the suggestion that he might take an active interest in my fate, and perhaps make it possible for me to get an education. When my Father finished with his explanations the General said, “So then, you are farmers.” “Yes,” said my father. “And how long have you been engaged in this farming business,” asked the General.” “More than three generations I believe, that’s as far back as anyone cares to remember,” answered my father.

1602. “Splendid, this is just the thing I need,” said the General. He said nothing at all about my Mother. He sent my father home promising to undertake a complete course of education for me working from the ground up. He put me to work in the kitchen: the kitchen of his army, it was a field kitchen. I was put in charge of the entire operation. So began my new life. 

Otis The King, parts 1595 - 1598

1595. The border guards let us pass without objection and with no further questions but in exactly the same way they might have let a gaggle of geese cross the road on the way to a stream. The geese might be crossing the road to have a drink of water at the stream, and tonight they could all be roasting on a spit, I am sure that is how they saw out pointless endeavor.

1596. When the General was informed about our visit we were ushered directly into his tent. He listened sympathetically to all that my father had to say. He seemed interested in the fate of my Mother, and appeared to be curious about the question of if he might possibly be my father.

1597. A shade of sympathy crossed his face at the suggestion that he might take an active interest in my fate, and perhaps make it possible for me to get an education. When my Father finished with his explanations the General said, “So then, you are farmers.” “Yes,” said my father. “And how long have you been engaged in this farming business,” asked the General.” “More than three generations I believe, that’s as far back as anyone cares to remember,” answered my father.

1598. “Splendid, this is just the thing I need,” said the General. He said nothing at all about my Mother. He sent my father home promising to undertake a complete course of education for me working from the ground up. He put me to work in the kitchen: the kitchen of his army, it was a field kitchen. I was put in charge of the entire operation. So began my new life.

Otis The King, parts 1591 - 1594

1591. “Dad,” I said, “This is all lies and made up stupidities. First of all this is not even a G on the button, and the entire story sounds like a silly fairy tale, and if you ask me, anyone who attempts to make their life conform to fairy tales is asking for trouble. Just give up on Mom from now on, and make the best of our situation, because I have a very bad feeling about crossing enemy lines to talk to some General about my ancestry.

1592. But my Dad would listen to no objections. “Why do you always have to be so negative,” he asked. “Yes,” the Duck interjected, “the objection to being negative was just as often used a thousand years ago as it is today. And it was used in exactly the same way, to eradicate all of the observations that might interfere with a persons plunging themselves headlong into a disaster.”

1593.  And the son had a right to his negativity, seeing as the father was dragging his son into the disaster along with himself, a thing he had no right to do. But he was a headstrong optimist, as you will see.

1594. My father and I headed out for the enemy lines; Dad carrying the brass button in his hand out in front of him, thinking it would serve as a passport as well as a good omen. At the border crossing they carefully examining the button. The guards passed the button around from one to another and only commented that it was most likely not a G but probably a C with some scratches making it look a little like a G.

Otis The King, parts 1587 - 1590

1587. War had broken out between the Mongovians, and the Lusitanians as it always did every few years, and the said General was commander of the armies of Mongovia, a very dangerous and violent man.

1588. About this coincidence of my actual father being called “The General,” and me having the same name: I thought it was pretty obvious that the gypsy had made it all up on the spur of the moment simply because he noticed that I had been referred to as, The General. But my father, being such a simple and trusting man, thought it was a kind of proof positive that the information was correct.

1589. The copper pot repairing gypsy assured my father that it would be a good idea to present me to the General, because he had a reputation for fathering children wherever his campaigns took him, and he was always anxious to see to their upbringing and well being. As proof of what he was telling us, he presented my father with a copper button with the letter G embossed its surface.

1590. He claimed that my actual mother gave this button to him. He claimed that he had been charged with the duty of presenting this button to my adopted father, with instructions to present it and myself to the General.

Otis The King, parts 1583 - 1586

1583. Every day she found something new to add to her collection, thereby increasing my value day by day. Obviously I knew nothing about any of this having not been born yet, but my father explained it all to me, endlessly justifying and forgiving my mother for what she had done to him. He was very understanding in that way.

1584. Even when he found out that he was not actually my father, it didn’t seem to upset him. Telling me about it when I was ten, he could only see the humorous aspect of it, having been convinced that I was premature and saying with a laugh, “Who but me would believe a fifteen pound baby would be 3 months premature.”

1585. I was such a big and sturdy baby that while still in my diapers I was christened, “The General,” and I have always had that name. My father found out that I was not his child in this fashion. He was in the habit of asking any passing gypsy if they had any knowledge of my mother. After a number of years his persistent questions bore fruit.

1586. A young man whose occupation was repairing copper pots visited us. He claimed to have definite knowledge of my mother. He warned my father that he would not be happy with the information. For a fee he revealed that my actual father was a famous and powerful man. This man, it turned out was also named, “The General.” He had acquired this name not because of his appearance, but because he actually was a general.

Otis The King, parts 1579 - 1582

painting by Minoru Nomata

1579. Seeing as they were becoming famous, like with all famous entertainers, we have to know a little about their biographies, otherwise we can’t truly appreciate their good fortune. Lets us begin, therefore with the eldest. 

painting by Minoru Nomata

1580. Here is what he had to say about himself, I suspect it is entirely fiction, made up on the spot long ago in order to get himself out of some scrape. The General’s Story;  “I was born Seventy-six years ago, or perhaps it was sixty-seven years ago, I can’t be sure. My mother was a gypsy, and my father was a farmer near to the town of Ulm, on the border between Mongovia, and Lusitania. My father was a Mongovian who had moved to Lusitania either for religious reasons, or to avoid excessive taxation.

painting by Minoru Nomata

1581. I have heard it said that my mother hated my father with a raging passion, and she would have left him in two flaps of a wasp’s wing, but she was three months pregnant when they met shortly after her caravan caught fire during an epidemic of the smallpox. He found her asleep in his barn, took her in, and married her the following week. He was madly in love, he had never been in love before, and it was his first experience of the malady.

painting by Minoru Nomata

1582. As for my mother, it was to be a six-month’s marriage, give or take a few days. During the six months she spent a lot of her time scouring the house when my father was away on business, searching for portable but valuable items to take with her when the opportunity arose to resume her wandering life. She felt this was only fair, as she intended to exchange me, for the items she was storing up for her departure.

Otis The King, parts 1575 - 1578

1575. He examines The General first, and then the wife. He thinks for a long time, rubbing his ear with his paw in a pensive way. Finally he begins to lick The General’s face in a typically dog like way. He licks all of the spots from the sick man's face and chest, and then proceeds to cure the wife.

 

1576. Thus ends, “The Smallpox Skit.” It is true that the skit ceased to have any effect on an audience after the invention of the smallpox vaccine. Once the terror of the disease was gone the effect of the skit lost it power to entertain. By the early years of the 19^th century the skit had almost disappeared from the repertory of the wandering theatre troupes.

 

1577. I do wish however you could have seen the audience’s reaction to the end of the skit at the moment when Otis begins to lick The General’s face. No one was inclined to laugh; on the contrary they looked on awestruck and open mouthed. It may have been simply flecks of grape skin Otis was licking but…

1578. There was not a person in the audience who was not inwardly asking themselves the question, “Would I lick the face of a person with smallpox”; and that questions immediate corollary, “a dog’s affection is of a different order than human affection.”