Faldoni, parts 3032 - 3035

 3032. The reason I say that Faldoni would have spent his time better if he learned to play the guitar, rather than trying to hopelessly learn to read and write is because when you strum the guitar you receive an immediate personal gratification, that is if your guitar is in tune, and you strum it in the right way.

 3033. But a person learning to read needs the assistance of another person in order to gain the satisfaction that comes from doing something correctly. So, you must picture to yourself poor Faldoni, memorizing the letters of Latin words, trying to remember how to write them down and pronounce them, burdening his mind with remembering what  his jailer’s said the words were. 

 3034. If the jailer held up one of the scraps of paper they were using with a phrase on it, Faldoni would wrinkle up his brow and concentrate and then come out with the exclamation, “It says, how are you today my good sir?” Then the jailer would nod his head up and down enthusiastically to encourage Faldoni. The truth was that the Latin phrase actually said, “Among the Helvetii, Orgetorix was by far the most distinguished and wealthy,”  because the book they were using was Caesars’ Gallic wars.

3035. The point to consider here is that Faldoni could only derive the satisfaction of accomplishing something with the help of the encouragement of the jailer, whereas if he was studying the guitar, he could have felt the pure pleasure of his accomplishment all by himself in the darkness of his cell, alone in the middle of the night, as he awaited the fast approaching end of his life.

Faldoni, parts 3028 - 3031

 3028.  The jailer said he could read and write, but that was a lie. He was able to write his name, and to read his name once he had written it down, but beyond that he was illiterate. Having claimed that he could read and write he was too embarrassed to confess the truth to the gardener, so when he was requested to be Faldoni’s teacher, he consented readily and with excitement, as if he had always desired to be a professor of the Italian language.

 3029. For a moment he had a pang of guilt about this deception, but then he thought, “What’s the difference anyway, he will not exist in a few weeks, and if in the mean time he thinks he is learning to read and write, what’s the harm. Besides, it will keep his mind off of that disagreeable thing of the burning.” 

 3030. If only Faldoni had decided in his last month of life to do something else with his time. I think it would have made more sense for him to have decided to learn to play the flute, or the guitar. It might have been difficult to procure a flute or a guitar under the circumstance, but I am sure something could have been arranged, perhaps a loan or something like that.

 3031. I have often noticed that when very nice people, who are completely innocent of any wrong doing, are condemned to death by torture, the people who have to deal with them are often very sympathetic and helpful, and go out of their way to accommodate them in any way they can. That was the situation for Faldoni. I am sure his jailer, or even other monks in the monastery would have provided him with any sort of instrument he might have desired.

Faldoni, parts 3024 - 3027

 3024. You have to put yourself in Faldoni’s shoes for a moment in order to comprehend the problem that confronted him on the first day of Lent, in the year of Our Lord, 1292, or thereabouts. The first question that perplexed him was the same as you or I would have to answer. The question was, “If I have 40 days to live, what should I do? Or would it be best to do nothing at all since anything I start is likely to remain unfinished when Easter arrives.”

 3025. Faldoni could neither read or write, so on the afternoon of the first day of Lent he decided that what he wanted to do was learn to write, and then, with that accomplished he planned to write a letter to the judges hoping to explain himself to them in detail. 

 
3026. He had no idea what it was he wanted to say to his judges, but he was sure that consideration would be resolved as soon as he mastered the problem of how to write things down on paper.

3027. Faldoni had one book, it was not the Bible, as you would expect, but a work in Latin. It might have been a religious meditation of some sort but was missing its cover and the first and last pages. Faldoni asked the Jailer if he could read and write, and if he could possibly help him with his urgent task of learning to read. He was hoping to be able to accomplish this project in a few weeks.

Faldoni, parts 3020 -3023

 3020. According to your reasoning, there are no crimes of theft, since everything belongs to God at all times. Since it is impossible for anyone to steal anything from anyone, you arrive at the conclusion that all judges are guilty of blasphemy. If we accept your reasoning, then there  are no criminals, and we judges are the only sinners. 

 3021. The friar, listening to these words, involuntarily nodded his head; an unwise thing for him to do at that moment.

 3022. The friar did not expect anything any different, and only hoped that he would not be condemned along with Faldoni for being so bold as to criticize the ecclesiastical judges. The judgment that was handed down was  simply a burning at the stake. In recognition of the fact that Faldoni did not intend to sell the pigment, the judges decided to dispense with the flaying part of his punishment.

3023. It was just the day before the beginning of Lent when the judgment was handed down, and according to the traditions of the monastery no burnings at the stake could take place until after Easter, forty days later. So Faldoni was taken back to his cell and locked up. His jailer, who had grown fond of him during his ordeal, saw to it that he had materials to continue painting if he was so inclined.

Faldoni, parts 3016 - 3019

 3016. After saying all of this the friar was silent. He knew he had gone to far in what he had said, but he was carried away by the sound of his own voice in the silence of the judgment hall. Perhaps if the judges had shown any emotion or had even fidgeted in their chairs in a disapproving way, the friar might have exercised some caution. 

 3017. After a painful silence the judges conferred with each other very briefly, and in their hushed conversation it was obvious that all three agreed about every aspect of the case; not a good sign for the defense. If only the friar could see just one of the judges holding back and shaking his head in indication of skepticism. But there was no skepticism or disagreement, just three old men whispering and nodding their heads in agreement.

 3018. The judge in the center of the three had a crooked face, the right side hung down a little as if he had suffered a stroke. It was he that responded to the friar. He spoke not of Faldoni’s guilt or innocence, but of the friar’s argument.  

3019. The judge said, “First you attempt to establish that the gardener did not steal anything because everything belongs to the monastery. Not content with that piece of impertinence, you then make the argument that everything belongs to God. From there you have gone on to accuse us of a crime for taking it into our hands to act on God’s behalf, and without His permission.”

Faldoni, parts 3012 - 3015

 3012. That can have only one answer, the Lord God Jehovah owns the Roman Catholic Church, and the Pope, all the cardinals and bishops, priests monks and even we humble friars are all His personal possession. 

 3013. So whomever decides to destroy one of God’s creations is quite obviously doing a very reckless and inconsiderate thing, regardless of any misguided ideas that would seem to justify such an act in the narrow view of those who actually probably do not even believe in God in the first place.

 3014. Because if they truly believed in God, and believed that God created the universe and everything in it, they might have a hard time deciding to cut grass, let alone cut off Faldoni’s head.

3015. We could make the mistake of destroying Faldoni because he was taking good care of God’s ultramarine blue that nobody else cared about, but then, tomorrow perhaps, God might go looking for Faldoni to see how he was getting on, and lo and behold he would discover that you had done away with him, and then there might be Hell to pay, and that is Hell with a capital H.

Faldoni, parts 3008 - 3011

 3008. The judges so far, made no objection, sitting immobile in their ornate chairs, behind a massive carved oak  desk, a desk that seemed to be muttering “guilty, guilty, guilty,” as did the ornate walls of the judgment chamber.  The judgment chamber had an unusually high chamfered ceiling and the ceiling also seemed to concur with the opinion of the oaken desk, that Faldoni,  and anyone else sitting in the dock, was quite obviously guilty.

 3009. The friar continued with his argument. “Now it is true that we monks and friars try to make things easier for the Good Lord by tonsuring out heads, thereby making it simpler for him to count, and those among us who are completely bald, I would suppose,  are especially appreciated by The Father.”

 3010.  At this point the friar looked at the three judges to see if his attempt at humor had any effect, but he may as well have been looking at those dour stone portraits that adorn cathedrals in rural districts.

3011. But the friar, warming to his argument, went on and even ventured into dangerous territory. “Yes,” he said with new conviction, “the Roman Catholic Church owns the monastery, and also owns Faldoni and his ultramarine pigment. But more important is the question of who is it that owns the Church itself?”