Bluto, parts 3424 - 3427

 3424. When I saw they were coming for me I stopped in the middle of the hall and sort of held out the mirror in my trembling hand and tried to look as much like a Cocker Spaniel as a person can look. But The Hagner was not having any of my forthrightness.

 3425. Before I tell you what she did, I would like to take a moment and tell you what Mrs. Hagner looked like, and with it put off for a moment telling you about the thrashing I would get.  But there is a difficulty in describing The Hagner. There are people who have one overwhelming characteristic, and that trait obliterates so much else that you can hardly notice the rest of the picture. A wart on the end of the nose is one such sort of trait. With Mrs. Hagner it was the lower part of her face.

 3426. The majority of her face was below her nose; actually below her lips. Directly under her lower lip was a huge quantity of wrinkled soft flesh that looked like a big flesh color balloon had almost entirely deflated. It was that flesh under her chin that made it impossible to notice her cat’s eye glasses with their fake diamonds, or her hair that looked like a varnished wasp’s nest. 

3427. It was easy to see that The Hagner was in a rage because her deflated balloon was trembling and quivering in a sickening way. Now you may think that it is just meanness on my part to draw such an ugly portrait of the woman, but you would be wrong, my picture is flattering, the reality is much worse, but I don’t have the skills to make it realistic for you.