Michelangelo Buys Figs. parts 1859 - 1862

1859. I don’t need to tell you how perfect the coffee was, if you have ever had coffee prepared by a four hundred year old church you know quite well what I am talking about. As for the Anisette Toast, it was just the same as my Grandmother always had on hand: slightly stale so that it became the perfect texture when dipped into the coffee.

1860. While the church was in the kitchen of her church I began to think about all that she had said about the fate of the small churches, and the vagaries of the tourist trade. I am actually of the opinion that it is not the actual objects of art that are so important to the tourist traffic as the anecdotal stories attached to those objects that really matter to the average tourist.

1861. For example, I once came across an especially large and impressive church in Rome called the Lateran Basilica. On the steps was a person addressing a throng of people. He was talking about how the foundations of that church dated from Roman times and that it had been continuously revised and rebuilt. He explained in detail how a certain architect was asked to submit plans to the Pope for a reconstruction and that his plans were rejected.

1862. But the rejected architect was undaunted; he so believed in his plans that he argued with the Pope. He had the audacity to argue with the Pope! He won the argument and the Pope accepted his plans. From that story I understood something important. We must all go and argue with the Pope, and we must win our argument. I never even bothered to enter the church; I didn’t want to disturb that feeling. I walked away saying to myself, “I want to have an argument with the Pope, right away.”

Richard Britell

Cholera, parts 268 - 271

Richard Britell June 21, 2012

268. Buboni continued with his ranting "And then the Pope would have to go to work, knowing every instant that it was all a big farce, a big charade, a Punch and Judy show, a sad magic trick everyone sees through, a worn out one act play with no plot..." As he raved he put his face closer and closer to the Abbot, flecks of foam flew from his lips. He took a step back and then collapsed onto the floor in a heap. 

269. "It's Cholera", said the Abbot. "Where is the nearest hospital" said the Duck,  "I will go get the car", I said. And so we prepared to do something about our dear art historian friend, but the Abbot said, "It may already be too late.

270. The Abbot made a phone call and informed us; the hospital was full and could take no more patients, we were to transport him to an auxiliary location, the former World War I Armory was being use about six miles from Dannersville. We set out, Buboni riding in the front seat for once.

271. The entire six miles the old man was nearly incoherent, he kept babbling on with his art history nonsense, stopping mid-sentence and changing the subject. He was especially concerned about the Popes, and their art commissions, but I could make no sense out of it. "Its obvious", said the Duck,"He is the 'Pope' and Catholicism is his art history, he now is beginning to think of it as a big crock of duck excrement. 

Chapter 5, Cholera!, parts 264 - 267

Richard Britell June 20, 2012

264. The Abbot went on,"His trust fund paid for his keep at the institution but when he was about thirteen he ran away. The next time he appears it is in Lyons selling Bibles door to door. The next few years were difficult for him because he had no papers or identification, but correspondence with the religious  orphanage established his identity. 

265. Here Buboni let out another low moan, and we realized it was not his impatience with the fanciful story of the Nigerian, the groan was because he had not gotten over his indisposition from the night before.  He left us for another visit to the bathroom. Off he went, using his crutch, and dragging his broken foot behind him.

266. The Duck gave me a significant look. Buboni had not touched his lunch.  When he came back from the bathroom the duck said, "Buboni, you are pale as a ghost, or, as Twain would say, 'you are toad belly white'".

267. Buboni ignored him and sat down again, and the Abbot continued talking of the Nigerian. "He will come into an inheritance when he reaches his 24th" but suddenly Buboni stood up to his full height, threw his crutch on the floor and shouted. "What if the Pope woke up one morning and realized that the entire history of Catholicism was an entire crock of bull"