Camus Crosses The Street, parts 838 - 841

838. When is a gum wrapper sticking momentarily to a lamppost the most interesting thing you ever saw, something you promise yourself you will remember till your dying day?  It is that time you walked across a parking lot just after some doctor in a lab coat told you you are not going to die after all. "No' the doctor said, 'you are going to live, going to live for ever."

839. To say that ones life had no meaning, and was a waste of time is treason against the self. One has to rise up against a thought like that and..., Just then, Aunt Jemima noticed me and said, "Richard what is going on in that head of yours, you look like you are going to blow a fuse, are you all right." Apparently she could see painted on my face all the disturbed things that were going on in my head.

840. Her question made me feel self conscious and I could not start talking about what was on my mind at that moment so to change the subject I asked Aunt Jemima what she thought of the Duck's stories about Marie Antoinette, and the tutor's story about Vivaldi.

841. "I have no idea where this Duck gets his information", said Jemima, " I don't doubt that he knows what he is talking about. One thing stands out for me however, and it is the detail about Netochka becoming an opera singer by accident. When Netochka first starts to sing with passion and conviction it is just to entertain her friends, and not because she is interested in the music she is singing."