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Sunday, February 3, 2013

Otis The Wolf, parts 1178 - 1181

1178. His first remark, usually expressed moments after examining some cow or pig was to say, 'Who knows, at this point I simply could not say, hmmmmm.' About this remark, the hmmm, was the most important part. A short hmm meant a small charge of 10 d-fosdit, but a long hmmmm, cost over 20 d-fosdit. D-fosdits are no longer in circulation anywhere but as a rough guide, one fostid in today's currency would be enough to buy a used toaster in a Goodwill Store.

1179. A week later the veterinarian would return and again examine the sick animal. If the animal had recovered he would say, 'just as I supposed, it is a classic case.' For this this was another 10 used toasters to be paid.

1180. If the animal had become sicker he would say exactly the same words,'just as I supposed, it is a classic case.' For this there was a 15 toaster charge. If the animal happened to be at death's door, he would rub his chin thoughtfully and say, 'she needs to spend some time at a spa, the best place is that well-known sulphur springs in Southern Albania.' This lame attempt at humor at a tragic time was never appreciated by anyone.

1181. As for the vet rubbing his chin before condemning an animal to destruction, it is true that it is the same gesture used by art collectors prior to purchasing a work of art. I do not know why both gestures are used the same way in such dissimilar situations. Perhaps it has to do with the finality of the thought-process going on in the brain at the time.

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